I READ Ms Song’s letter “Getting wolf whistles at the post office” (The Star, March 11) with sadness and much disgust.

I am sure there will be countless women out there who think it’s perfectly natural to be getting wolf whistles because it means that they are desirable and attractive. But is it really? There are other less obvious and less harassing ways of showing your appreciation for a woman’s beauty and desirability. They range from a simple smile and a gesture like holding the door open for her.

Calls like “Come back again soon” preceded by cat calls and suggestive comments only serve to demean a woman and class her as a sexual object. What is worse about the whole thing is that everyone else in that office, women included, thought it was perfectly okay to behave in that manner in public to a stranger. And, in this case, a customer!

I grew up having to put up with more than just cat calls and lewd remarks. I was molested while waiting for a bus when I was 12. I was flashed at several times. And all the while, no one around me did anything about it. They even looked down at me because I looked outraged instead of pleased.

In December 2007, someone working for the KLIA Ekspress at KL Sentral tried to pick me up while I was waiting alone at night to fetch my husband. He asked if he could wait with me in the car.

There was someone else working with him and the two of them started laughing as if it was all right to say things like that to women.

I don’t enjoy it one bit at all. As a matter of fact, I hate it. I hate being thought of as nothing else but a sexual object. I have a brain, I have skills and I have abilities outside what comes natural as a woman. I want people to respect that!

Is this how we are teaching our men, sons, brothers and boys to respect women? We see it all the time among adult men drawing similarities between a bride and a new toilet or making jokes like saying that rape victims should lie back and enjoy being raped and a woman’s menstruation is like a leaky roof, etc.

Is this the kind of modern and cultured society we want to see our children growing up in where women are constantly seen as sex objects – good for nothing else but a romp anywhere.

Now I’m in a foreign land and I am glad to say that no one makes cat calls at women here. Boys open doors for ladies and you can walk the streets safely without having to worry about being harassed by anyone. If a man speaks to you, it’s usually to say hello and not “Can I come home with you?” People are respectful, yet appreciative of the gentler sex.

I would like to call on mothers, fathers and all adults alike, if you want to stop sexual harassment, stop it yourself. Forget about government intervention. This starts from the root – education at home and lead by example, which seems to be lacking.

Mabel Teoh,
Switzerland.

Source: The Star – March 14, 2008