THIS space is hardly the vantage point to proffer parenting tips given the prolonged outstation spells, late night sessions with friends trying to put the world to right, and, yes, writing one’s column on Sundays.

I draw strength to discuss this topic, however, from endless conversations with friends and taxi drivers and friends who are taxi drivers. For starters, all fathers are proud of their children or they naturally should be. A gregarious taxi driver would venture if he senses you would not mind a little chat. ‘Abang, berapa orang anak?’to establish the size of your immediate family, and from there on, lure and share opinions on ‘managing ‘them and the cost of living. That is after all the primary reason for taxi drivers to plod on for 14 hours a day. You, on the other hand, know it is inappropriate to tell them to try to spend a bit more time to motivate their own children … or to surround them with great books and to take them to Istana Budaya or even to buy a bigger, more spacious house for the children to grow up in. These men are already working hard to support their families and by paying a daily ‘licence’rent of, what RM45? Many don’t have a single day off. If they skip Sundays, they will have to drive the extra hours the following day to make up the rent for two days. Taxi drivers, in my opinion, are the greatest fathers in the world for trying to survive a cut-throat system. So it’s great to hear of more taxi permits for individuals and hopefully, the deserving. Still, many taxi drivers are proud to be volunteering information on the exact amount of monies they deposit into the account of their college-going children. This is a sort of therapy to salve the draining physical battle from burrowing through KL’s clogged roads. One particular taxi driver I had met upheld his pride by projecting self-sufficiency on his part and the promise of greater success for his children. Often do I hear taxi drivers compare their children as brighter than them, and that they would go on ‘to do not too badly’. It is a nice summary of their sel! ess struggles. I intend to ask Jad, Pak Mid (both with own permits, thankfully) and many other taxi drivers I have befriended if their children gave them over this weekend some nice presents or self-made greeting cards proclaiming them the ‘Greatest Dad in the World’. While Father’s Day is becoming more well-known, very many of us, taxi drivers, included, are not aware of or don’t bother about such matters. Being father, after all, does not cease tomorrow when we don’t celebrate such curious events. I must also ask Jad and Pak Mid if they make it a point to drive their children to the posh housing enclaves of KL to plant dreams and visualise ambitions. I have not asked Jad and Pak Mid how they react to their children consistently turning in poor grades. And if they do tell, I can already imagine them saying the young ones’education ends on the death bed, preferably with the Quran in one hand, and some great novels within sight. I believe children are not too particular about the actual duration you are with them, but don’t think for a minute that they buy the dreadful cliché of ‘quality time’. Perhaps the biggest quality they look for in a father is his being courageous and tireless. No straightforward chore this, and in such interesting times, too, when children are unfailingly empowered. They are so opinionated that you sometimes wish you too were less so. Surely then, they too will tone down their viewpoints. A nine-year-old girl walking with her dad past her school yesterday saw her teacher driving into the school compound. “What’s he doing here on a Sunday? This is Father’s Day. He is married with kids.” I think parents need uppermost to be untiring sons and daughters to their own ageing parents as that is the connection and continuity treasured by the young. Traditions matter in nurturing bonding. Friday prayers and hefty lunches with your son will result in him bringing his son (and your grandchild) along. What about the daily jog with the youngest daughter till she beats you over the short sprints? Or, the late-night football viewing with your 19- year-old who also supports Liverpool and Spain. You support Spain because Fernando Torres happens to be a Spaniard, but she admires the team for their goodlooks, it seems. There are tens of thousands of other hard-working fathers of KL who dare not anticipate their own trajectory and the paths of their children because they must first survive the rigours and torments of city life. Rashid Yusof, on sabbatical from 24-hour journalism, is looking to dredge up a range of arguments and a smattering of ideas for the public domain. He was made to feel like a cherished dad while writing this …

Source: Malay Mail – June 16, 2008