We could begin by asking: Is the conduct of our politics indicative of national character? Only problem is that it is going to be traumatic.

We could begin by asking: Is the conduct of our politics indicative of national character? Only problem is that it is going to be traumatic. That’s a hint of what would be a protracted exercise within this space which shall compile an exhaustive list of our distinctive traits. entries shall be added or ditched as there could be overwhelming evidence that particular behaviour is not peculiar to us. The goal is to reach book-length proportions. The title, sadly, is not distinctive, a sign of infusion of foreign themes into our national life. It is lifted from George Mikes’s book How To Be A Brit. The British, this hungarian-born author observed, are obsessed with weather. Malaysians are ambivalent about rain. Taxi service ceases, second-guessing passenger instincts. Our weather men worry about tsunamis, not traffic jams in KL, so brave hearts who hit the road as rain peaks are filled with fear of an imminent gridlock. hence, tentative driving that causes jams. everybody is happily distracted at work with the most popular innovation being to dash to the nearest “Mamak”, where people seem merry. “Mamak” is clearly a confused term pending resolution to this national dilemma of what to call those ubiquitous places serving endless food and drinks. They were “coffee shops” until hot tea began to fill little glasses in the 1980s and had to be moderated by those flourishing pouring of tea into glass creating an elevating froth. Now those little glasses are gone; teh tarik is served in big mugs. Coffee may have gotten its revenge through Kopitiam. “Mamak”, in a big-picture situation, is a brand and should not offend the sensibilities of this segment of Malaysians. Of course, unlike Yusoff who was president of Muslim League, Kedah, the son was born here, and triumphantly recited Rukun Negara. One’s soul is not traumatised when frolicking away in the kampung with Malay friends. how about being served tea by new arrivals resembling your features? It is a little like attending prayers at a mosque in Cape Town where the Cape Malays in a mirage appear fleetingly like Pak Din or Tok Chin in Gurun but, pardon the cliché, we are world’s apart. The fact is those foreigners who whip up the best murtabak in KL happen to be latecomers in the same way as some Sumatran Malays arrived on our shores earlier than others. Above all, as a sovereign nation, though a country of past migrants, we need to enforce Immigration laws faithfully and write our history rather than let others tell us what we were like. One way of looking at ourselves is to consider the British line carved shortly after the World War 11. They ruled that the Sumatran Malays did not migrate; they simply changed address. Malay-ness may have evolved into a concept that many others on the fringes have subscribed to, but everyone will have to bow to a few basics – special rights of the Malays and Sabah/ Sarawak Bumiputeras; that the industry of the Chinese have powered the economy just like the Indians who have additionally embellished our repertoire of language skills and provide us with the best legal minds. The Kadazans, Dayaks, Thais, eurasians and Punjabis, all bring into the melting pots exemplary virtues. KL’s Pasar Seni (Central Market) brilliantly captures the essence of Malaysia. A few paces from Little India’s enclave, a european couple was left gawking when a Chinese seller performed a soothing ritual before placing on the palm of a tudung-clad Malay a fluoride bracelet with healing qualities. Upstairs, a polished Chinese lady extolled the attributes of an Indonesian batik painter, while explaining to her local buyers the prices are cast in stone. her associate at another stall went further by putting up this notice: “Dear friends. We don’t have local price. We don’t have tourist price, it’s called fixed price”. I asked the pretty one to explain this refrain. “It is directed at locals who love to haggle.” As in the realm of politics, perception is at work here. Buyers assume there is considerable space for negotiation. What does the seller assume? Will haggling ever make it to “how to be a Malaysian?” No. even the Brits are putting aside their legendary shyness and are haggling in earnest, especially after the BBC introduced the popular series Bargain hunt in 2000. Google “Bargain and haggle” to see how universal this is! We have instead perfected double or triple parking, dousing this egregious act in some courtesy. “Courteous” offenders leave their contact numbers on the dashboards. Caring, in a practical sense? Do we judge the offenders?

• Rashid Yusof, on sabbatical from 24-hour journalism, is looking to dredge up a range of arguments and a smattering of ideas for the public domain.

Source: Malay Mail – July 21, 2008